


Anchor

by Liyyah



Category: Suits (US TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-19
Updated: 2018-06-19
Packaged: 2019-05-25 15:34:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14980193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liyyah/pseuds/Liyyah
Summary: When Harvey is shot by an angry ex client, Donna's whole world suddenly crumbles. At her place beside his hospital bed, there's nothing she can do but beg him to come back.





	Anchor

**Author's Note:**

> A sort of loose combination of two prompts from tumblr.

Donna stared at the still form on the hospital bed, her heart in her throat. It had been lodged there since the beginning of time. She wasn’t even sure how long it had been since…

Abruptly, she squeezed her eyes shut, forcing herself to take a deep breath. She wouldn’t think about it. She _couldn’t_.

When she opened them, her gaze automatically fell on him once more as those familiar waves of sadness threatened to drown her.

_Harvey._

Leaning forward, she grasped his hand in her own trembling ones. They had been shaking for days.

The dam inside her chest was close to bursting as she took in how cold he felt. _How_ _lifeless_.

She couldn’t help but remember another time when her hand was in his. When the music playing in the background faded away and they danced to the beating of their hearts entwined together, their own melody as the rest of the room turned to dust. He spun her around and she grinned, drunk on the sparkle in his eyes, the touch of his skin more potent than champagne. Tenderly, he had caressed her hand and her cheeks turned pink while the hopes buried in her stomach soared like shooting stars, the taste of _more_ on the tip of their tongues.

It was a night that was worlds away.

Donna would give anything to have it back. To live in those precious few moments forever.

She would give everything for Harvey to just open his eyes.

“Please,” the word escaped her throat, barely a whisper as she held his hand to her lips.

_Please don’t leave me._

Her plea fell on deaf ears.

The heavy weight of exhaustion prompted her eyes to close for a second but a second was all it took for everything to come rushing back.

_The shot echoing throughout the firm, the sound ringing in her ears._

_The blood on his shirt._

_The screaming she hadn’t even realised was coming from her._

_His eyes falling shut._

Her own eyes flew open as she leaned back against her seat, trying and failing to force oxygen into her lungs. But all she kept seeing was red red red the ribbons tying themselves around her throat in a pretty little bow all wrapped up in a neat present for the demons crying out inside her brain.

She remembered Louis having to pry her off Harvey when the paramedics finally arrived. It was Louis who had pulled her down behind her desk when the gunshot went off, even as she fought with everything in her because she _knew_. She remembered eventually breaking free and running into his office to find security already detaining their ex client but all of her focus had instantly been stolen by _him_. The sight of Harvey Specter lying broken on the floor was one that would haunt her nightmares for the rest of her life.

_Donna couldn’t stop remembering._

Each recollection was a knife all too eager to slice through her chest. The pieces of her heart lay scattered around her in the midst of the ruins that once was her life. Donna’s universe crumbled right along with Harvey.

She wished she had kissed him years ago.

She wished she hadn’t lied about the kiss.

She wished she had told him she loved him when he would have still been able to hear her.

_She wished._

“Just come back,” she croaked out.

Suddenly, as if on cue, Harvey’s eyes fluttered open as if whatever god was listening took pity on the shattered woman begging for mercy.

Time held its breath, the earth coming to a stop as every moment to ever exist simply ceased to be.

“Donna,” Harvey murmured.

Two syllables that fractured the air and made her heart start beating again. Her name had never sounded so sweet.

“Harvey,” she breathed out, voice filled with relief.

For a minute he did nothing but stare at her, as if he was seeing her for the first time. Donna devoured every second, gorging herself completely.

“How long have I been here?” he asked quietly after a while.

“Um…a few days,” she answered. “I’m not exactly sure how much.”

“Have you been here the whole time?”

“More or less. Louis dragged me home to shower and get some rest and he brought Gretchen and Katrina as reinforcements but…”

“You’re more stubborn than all of them combined and came back here as soon as you could,” he finished with a knowing smile.

“I didn’t want you to wake up alone,” she confessed softly.

“I’m glad I didn’t.”

He pulled his hand away from hers and Donna flushed, an apology or maybe an excuse rising on her tongue but he reached out to gently wipe away some of the tears that ran down her cheeks. She didn’t know when she had started crying again. She hadn’t been aware that her body _had_ any tears left to begin with.

The mere touch of Harvey’s skin on hers sent lightning speeding through her veins. She was alive again.

_So was he._

It was that electricity that sparked recklessness within her.

“Harvey I-”

_I love you._

However she caught the sentence before it ran away, painfully swallowing each letter.

What on earth was she thinking? _This_ _was_ _not_ _the_ _time_.

“What is it?” he asked.

“Nothing. Never mind.”

“Donna,” he said tenderly, uttering those two syllables with utmost affection as he always did. “Talk to me.”

“I thought I was going to lose you,” she found herself saying, her throat closing up again.

“You won’t ever lose me.”

“Even if I told you that I lied about the kiss?”

Familiar fear began to wrap itself around her as she watched his eyes widen.

“What?”

“I lied when I said I didn’t feel anything,” she told him. “And when I said I didn’t want more. You were angry and I got scared so I panicked because…”

The corner of her mouth turned up in a sad smile as she trailed off.

“Because I couldn’t lose you.”

_She almost lost him anyway._

Silence blanketed them as the seconds ticked by with fate sitting on the edge of her seat. Donna’s hands were clenched in fists, nails digging into her skin. A part of her wanted nothing more than to run away.

“I lied too,” was the confession that ended the world.

Donna blinked at him, unable to comprehend what he was saying while her heart thundered out of control.

“I lied when I told you that I didn’t want more,” he continued. “I was angry at you for kissing me while I was with someone else but more than that I was angry with myself. Because I enjoyed it. Because I wanted you to do it again. And again and again. Because Donna when you kissed me I felt _everything_. And I couldn’t help but think, _how_ _does_ _this_ _make_ _me_ _any_ _better_ _than_ _my_ _mother_?”

“It’s more complicated than that,” she said, her eyes welling up again.

“I know that now. I was just afraid too. You once accused me of being too afraid of risking anything and you were right. Except the thing I couldn’t risk was _you_. I’m afraid of losing you too you know. Always have been.”

“You’ll never lose me,” she echoed.

It was a promise that seared itself into their hearts, painting them in shades of gold.

A weight had lifted itself from Donna’s shoulders and her mere existence felt lighter. There was still so much to say, years and years of conversations to be pulled out from under the carpet they’d been dusted under. For now though, with Harvey looking at her with adoration and hope in his eyes, this was enough.

All of a sudden, a yawn rose up within her, all of those sleepless nights catching up to her.

“You need to get some sleep,” Harvey said with a frown.

“I’m fine,” she replied, earning herself a look. “I’m not leaving you.”

Harvey sighed, knowing full well that this was an argument he would not win.

So he scooted over, his movements careful in order to keep all of his stitches and everything in tact.

“Get in,” he said, motioning for Donna to join him on the bed.

“I’m not-”

“You haven’t slept for I don’t know how long and you aren’t gonna get a good rest sitting in that chair. I know better than to try to convince you to go home because I would just be wasting my breath. So get in.”

Donna held her ground for all of two seconds before climbing in beside him. She _was_ tired and yearned for the sweet release of sleep more than anything else.

Her heart picked up its pace again as she settled in. It wasn’t as if this was the first time they were sharing a bed. However, that other night might as well have been a lifetime ago.

Harvey pulled the thin hospital sheets up around them and Donna’s eyes were already beginning to fall shut as she leaned against his shoulder. In the moments right before she drifted off, her hand found his chest and it was only when she could feel his heart beating beneath her touch did she allow herself to dream.

The realisation that her hand didn’t shake anymore was her last thought before she finally slept.

**Author's Note:**

> I have not been very inspired lately so this took FOREVER to write. Hope it's alright though and as usual thanks for reading.


End file.
